Are you listening? Wooooooooooooo

Ok, so I am nearly positive that no one has ever read this blog. Be that as it may, I can't let that be an excuse for not keeping it up to date. So to all one of you out there reading this, that includes me, I apologize. My original intent was to use this site as a way to get stuff out that is developing within me. Ideas, beliefs, plans, family stuff, work stuff, etc. Basically the definition of a blog. I have failed at doing this, much as I feared I would. It's actually much more work than I thought it would be to write something at least once a week. I am the kind of person that before I go to write something, I need to feel like I have something to say. I don't want to turn into just another blog out there that has meaningless ramblings of somebody who has nothing to say really, whether it be good or bad, helpful or harmful, etc. I want to have something to say. That's kinda the goal for my life in general right now. Have some sort of impact on somebody. Hopefully in a good way.
Until that time when I actually do have something to say I shall again resort to Oswald Chambers. Here is a few excerpts from the January 31 reading that I find especially great...

- Our calling is not primarily to be holy men & women, but to be proclaimers of the Gospel of God.
- The one thing that is all important is that the Gospel of God should be realized as the abiding Reality. Reality is not human goodness, nor holiness, nor heaven, nor hell; but Redemption; and the need to perceive this is the most vital need of the Christian worker today.
- Personal holiness is an effect, not a cause, and if we place our faith in human goodness, in the effect of Redemption, we shall go under when the test comes.
- As long as our eyes are upon our own personal whiteness, we shall never get near the reality of Redemption.

That seems like an old message, but it should be the only message. That the point of all that matters is the Redemption we have through Christ. The Gospel. Realize that and embrace it. I have always struggled with trying to fix myself. However, just as Oz says here, that personal goodness, or whiteness, has let me down every time.
I saw this again today as I was in charge of all three of my kids while the wife was away. I resolved myself this morning to staying self controlled and infinitely patient with the kids no matter what. Yeah, that lasted for about an hour until two of them had crapped themselves, they were all complaining incessantly of hunger despite clearing out our cupboards of all food items, and the volume level in my house was beginning to make my ears ring. Then it came out. That personal whiteness turned black real quick and I blew up. The rest of the day was an up & down roller coaster of me trying to stay controlled, but eventually always losing it. I never once took the time to pray for help, or even just step out for a sec, calm down and get my bearings or re-align myself with God.
We are proclaimers of the Gospel. Not proclaimers of how good of people we are now that we have redemption. Derek Webb says on his cd "The House Show" that he wished his sins could be put up on a big billboard that everyone could see, so that he would nothing to hide about himself, and nothing to hold onto but the Gospel message of Redemption through Christ. I am going to make this blog my billboard. I know that isn't too brave since really no one reads this, but hey it's a start.
Don't place any hope or faith in the effects of your redemption. Place all your hope and faith in Redemption itself. You are saved despite yourself.
That's all for now. I will try to keep this updated a little more often.