The past couple months have been interesting to say the least. God very visibly showed me something about myself. I can remember the night before the song got on the radio. I was at a restaurant with a friend of mine enjoying some beer and buffalo wings, talking about God and what He was doing in our lives and what we desired in our relationship with Him. That night on my way home my prayer was that God would be more real to me. That He would show Himself to me, and use me in other peoples lives through my music, through my work, my attitude, whatever means He deemed necessary. The very next day the song was played on the radio, and all those prayers got answered very clearly. God was using me to affect other peoples lives. He very clearly came out of the slumber He seemed to be in and used me in a great way. I however forgot my prayer from the night before.
Very quickly my desire changed from wanting to affect other peoples lives, to "how can I use this to get me out of my current position in life". How can I use it to deliver myself from the ho-hum of everyday life that seemed to be sapping me dry. I forgot about my desires to affect other peoples lives. In classic "Rick" fashion, I focused on myself.
God didn't stop using me in other peoples lives, I just was not paying attention to it. My hopes and prayers were being fulfilled before my eyes, but I had them shut. I feel a need to apologize to all those out there who think of me as some super spiritual holy man. I am nothing of the sorts. I am a broken individual, as broken as anyone else. Thank God for grace for without it I am without hope.
To all of you who sent me emails saying how much my music has meant to you, I can't thank you enough. I hope to keep writing music that helps you through whatever you are dealing with. I am open God to be used again. Help me not to make it about me, cause its never about me. I have gotten myself nowhere, and will continue to go nowhere as long as I try to get myself somewhere. You are my God, and I long for you Lord. I long to be near you. I long to be free from this nagging need for recognition and fulfillment from all the wrong things. Be real again to me, and help me to keep my eyes open to your moving.
