The past couple months have been interesting to say the least. God very visibly showed me something about myself. I can remember the night before the song got on the radio. I was at a restaurant with a friend of mine enjoying some beer and buffalo wings, talking about God and what He was doing in our lives and what we desired in our relationship with Him. That night on my way home my prayer was that God would be more real to me. That He would show Himself to me, and use me in other peoples lives through my music, through my work, my attitude, whatever means He deemed necessary. The very next day the song was played on the radio, and all those prayers got answered very clearly. God was using me to affect other peoples lives. He very clearly came out of the slumber He seemed to be in and used me in a great way. I however forgot my prayer from the night before.
Very quickly my desire changed from wanting to affect other peoples lives, to "how can I use this to get me out of my current position in life". How can I use it to deliver myself from the ho-hum of everyday life that seemed to be sapping me dry. I forgot about my desires to affect other peoples lives. In classic "Rick" fashion, I focused on myself.
God didn't stop using me in other peoples lives, I just was not paying attention to it. My hopes and prayers were being fulfilled before my eyes, but I had them shut. I feel a need to apologize to all those out there who think of me as some super spiritual holy man. I am nothing of the sorts. I am a broken individual, as broken as anyone else. Thank God for grace for without it I am without hope.
To all of you who sent me emails saying how much my music has meant to you, I can't thank you enough. I hope to keep writing music that helps you through whatever you are dealing with. I am open God to be used again. Help me not to make it about me, cause its never about me. I have gotten myself nowhere, and will continue to go nowhere as long as I try to get myself somewhere. You are my God, and I long for you Lord. I long to be near you. I long to be free from this nagging need for recognition and fulfillment from all the wrong things. Be real again to me, and help me to keep my eyes open to your moving.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Thursday, July 24, 2008
How Going To Cornerstone University Changed My Life (this is not a plug)
Lately I have been reminded over and over again of a decision I made in 1997. I had just graduated from high school, I was newly engaged to my then girlfriend Nicole Barrett, and I was all set to go to Cornerstone University to further my education. There was only one small problem. I had no money. My parents weren't particularly well off, but they were helping as much as possible, and Cornerstone was really, really expensive. So I made a very difficult decision. I decided not to go to Cornerstone.
I had to tell this to Nicole, which very nearly ended our relationship because we had both been planning to go to Cornerstone for quite some time and she was very excited about the prospect of us being together more often and going to the same school. Oh yeah, did I mention that I decided to break this news to her the day before we left for college. My timing was impeccable.
On the day we were both supposed to leave for college I decided to go along with Nicole. Mainly to see her off, but also to tell the student development I had decided not to go because I didn't have enough money. The response I got kinda shocked me. When I told Josh Williams, the head student development guy, that I wasn't coming he said, "What if we could get you more money?" I responded by saying that it would really have to be a lot of money. In the ball park of $5000 dollars. He said to stay right where I was at... he'd be right back. He came back about 20 minutes later with the money I needed to make going to Cornerstone a possibility. I changed my decision.
I can only conclude that God orchestrated that whole scenario. Nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, about my life right now would be the way it is if God had not gotten me that extra money to go to college there. I would not be married to Nicole because there is no way we could have survived that whole issue and stayed together. Thus I wouldn't have the 3 beautiful children I have now.
I wouldn't have the job I have that supports my whole family and allows us to live and level of comfort that I don't deserve. Especially in a failing economy. Especially when I know lots of people struggling financially who don't deserve to be.
I wouldn't have met all the people that I now call my best friends, and who have impacted, influenced, and encouraged me to become who I am. I wouldn't have stayed involved with music because it was my friends who encouraged and brought that out of me.
I wouldn't have searched all around Grand Rapids for a vibrant church to attend that would offer the opportunities for growth and development that Ada Bible Church has given me. Ada has an amazing worship team that has been a huge impact on me musically, and with the growth that Ada experienced at the time the opportunity opened up for me to start leading worship. If I hadn't started singing and leading worship, I would never have had the guts to start writing and performing my own songs.
If I hadn't started writing and performing my own stuff, nothing that has happened in the last few months would have happened. That decision to go to Cornerstone after God provided a means of getting there set so many things in motion for me that to try and lay it all out here would take way too long and no one would want to stick around and read it all.
One decision, that at the time just seemed like a cool blessing because I got to go to the college I wanted to go to, turned into a decision that completely changed who I am.
It's hard for me to see God moving in my future because it hasn't happened yet. I have no idea what He is going to do. All I know is that I can trust Him for my future because I can look at my past and see the amazing things He did for me. Hindsight is 20/20 as they say. Certainly doesn't take away the anxiousness to know whats next though.
I can only assume that if I hadn't gone to Cornerstone, I would still be living in my parents basement, drinking a lot of beer, listening to a lot of Metallica, and probably still working the grill at Wendy's. Actually I still do those last three... hmm, well I don't live in my parents basement anyway so thats good. And really, after the St. Anger album, who listens to Metallica? If you held on to Metallica long enough to hear that album, you let go immediately upon hearing it. And don't get all hung up on the drinking beer part... the one thing I couldn't hear enough of at Cornerstone was discernment. I know when to stop. Finally, I don't specifically work the grill at Wendy's anymore, but I do work a mean grill at home with all the training I got from Wendy's. Thank you Wendy. Thank you.
I had to tell this to Nicole, which very nearly ended our relationship because we had both been planning to go to Cornerstone for quite some time and she was very excited about the prospect of us being together more often and going to the same school. Oh yeah, did I mention that I decided to break this news to her the day before we left for college. My timing was impeccable.
On the day we were both supposed to leave for college I decided to go along with Nicole. Mainly to see her off, but also to tell the student development I had decided not to go because I didn't have enough money. The response I got kinda shocked me. When I told Josh Williams, the head student development guy, that I wasn't coming he said, "What if we could get you more money?" I responded by saying that it would really have to be a lot of money. In the ball park of $5000 dollars. He said to stay right where I was at... he'd be right back. He came back about 20 minutes later with the money I needed to make going to Cornerstone a possibility. I changed my decision.
I can only conclude that God orchestrated that whole scenario. Nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, about my life right now would be the way it is if God had not gotten me that extra money to go to college there. I would not be married to Nicole because there is no way we could have survived that whole issue and stayed together. Thus I wouldn't have the 3 beautiful children I have now.
I wouldn't have the job I have that supports my whole family and allows us to live and level of comfort that I don't deserve. Especially in a failing economy. Especially when I know lots of people struggling financially who don't deserve to be.
I wouldn't have met all the people that I now call my best friends, and who have impacted, influenced, and encouraged me to become who I am. I wouldn't have stayed involved with music because it was my friends who encouraged and brought that out of me.
I wouldn't have searched all around Grand Rapids for a vibrant church to attend that would offer the opportunities for growth and development that Ada Bible Church has given me. Ada has an amazing worship team that has been a huge impact on me musically, and with the growth that Ada experienced at the time the opportunity opened up for me to start leading worship. If I hadn't started singing and leading worship, I would never have had the guts to start writing and performing my own songs.
If I hadn't started writing and performing my own stuff, nothing that has happened in the last few months would have happened. That decision to go to Cornerstone after God provided a means of getting there set so many things in motion for me that to try and lay it all out here would take way too long and no one would want to stick around and read it all.
One decision, that at the time just seemed like a cool blessing because I got to go to the college I wanted to go to, turned into a decision that completely changed who I am.
It's hard for me to see God moving in my future because it hasn't happened yet. I have no idea what He is going to do. All I know is that I can trust Him for my future because I can look at my past and see the amazing things He did for me. Hindsight is 20/20 as they say. Certainly doesn't take away the anxiousness to know whats next though.
I can only assume that if I hadn't gone to Cornerstone, I would still be living in my parents basement, drinking a lot of beer, listening to a lot of Metallica, and probably still working the grill at Wendy's. Actually I still do those last three... hmm, well I don't live in my parents basement anyway so thats good. And really, after the St. Anger album, who listens to Metallica? If you held on to Metallica long enough to hear that album, you let go immediately upon hearing it. And don't get all hung up on the drinking beer part... the one thing I couldn't hear enough of at Cornerstone was discernment. I know when to stop. Finally, I don't specifically work the grill at Wendy's anymore, but I do work a mean grill at home with all the training I got from Wendy's. Thank you Wendy. Thank you.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Struggling
For a while now, I have struggled with some depression. It's that kind where you can't really put a finger on what's wrong, you just know that something isn't right. For whatever reason, the things that should bring you joy don't and its a struggle to get through a day without feeling like you had wasted it completely on meaningless tasks. Whenever I get into this state of mind, I find myself staying up very late basically to avoid going to sleep and just having to do the same day over again. Does anyone else fall in this hole? The walls of the hole seem so steep that you feel like you will never be able to climb out. Over the last year I have started to be able to identify when this depression is settling in on me. The common denominator seems to be my current job. I say that knowing that some people from work may be reading this. I haven't shied away from honesty in the past and I won't start now.
My main duty at work is to be a web application developer. It's really a great job, with a great company, a great boss, and fair pay. I can't complain about any of that. What makes my heart ache is the day in, day out, same old routine of going to my desk and programming for a day, then back home, get a couple hours with the kids and wife, dink around on the computer for a while, back to bed and up in the morning to start the whole thing over again. I have this overwhelming desire to be having some sort of impact on peoples lives, but in sitting at my desk 8 or 9 hours a day, 5 days a week, I feel like I have very little impact on those around me for God. Let alone the fact that my attitude is terrible at work most days so even when I get a chance to impact someone I blow it with my stressed out, impatient attitude. I kind of fell into this job and now I have been here for 6 years, in those 6 years the wife and I have had 3 kids, we have a healthy mortgage, college payments and other debt, and no time. So I really can't go back to school for anything, and if I could go back to school, what would I go back for? No school has what I am looking for.
So the feeling I get is that I am trapped. I have worked myself into a situation that I can no longer see a way out of. I think of my dad, who when he was very young (18) started a family and had to get a good job quick, and managed to get into General Motors building cars. It wasn't necessarily a dream job, but it paid the bills. He ended up working there for 32 years or something like that. He didn't enjoy it, but he worked himself into that situation where he had no other options. He had to do it to provide for his family. That is where I am. I have to work to provide for my family.
Then comes this taste of what could possibly be a way out. This minor bit of local celebrity. This fleeting moment of acknowledgment. God how I want that to be my path. God how I want to be out there doing music, talking and interacting with people on an intimate basis. I pray everyday that it is where He is leading me, knowing full well that it may very well never happen, other than the local shows I do (which by the way thanks to everyone who comes to those, they are seriously what keep me going sometimes). He has it all in His hands and I have to wait. My friend Mike wrote a post in his blog recently that relates to this somewhat. His loneliness is to his longing for relationships that are real, as my depression is to my desire for a life that is real. I want a life that matters.
I realize very quickly what you are thinking to yourself... "all lives and occupations matter in the kingdom." I know. I understand that God has me in the position I am in for a reason. He is teaching me something. I am where I am for a reason, and until that reason is accomplished He isn't going to move me. But anyone who has been in my position knows what I am saying. It is hard to see how anything I am doing on a daily basis could possibly matter for the Kingdom of God. But I know it does. Somehow in ways I may never know or understand, what I am doing in my life matters to God, and He is teaching me and molding me through it.
Occasionally I will hear stories from some friends who really have similar stories to what I have just shared. The difference is that they have God in their sights and even when things seem desperate, they don't let it get to them, at least they don't show it. God I want that kind of attitude. Lord help me to see you in all the details and not to struggle anymore with my petty problems. I feel homesick.
Here is a quick quote... again from Oswald Chambers, My Utmost For His Highest, June 10:
"You can never give to another person that which you have found, but you can make him homesick for what you have."
My main duty at work is to be a web application developer. It's really a great job, with a great company, a great boss, and fair pay. I can't complain about any of that. What makes my heart ache is the day in, day out, same old routine of going to my desk and programming for a day, then back home, get a couple hours with the kids and wife, dink around on the computer for a while, back to bed and up in the morning to start the whole thing over again. I have this overwhelming desire to be having some sort of impact on peoples lives, but in sitting at my desk 8 or 9 hours a day, 5 days a week, I feel like I have very little impact on those around me for God. Let alone the fact that my attitude is terrible at work most days so even when I get a chance to impact someone I blow it with my stressed out, impatient attitude. I kind of fell into this job and now I have been here for 6 years, in those 6 years the wife and I have had 3 kids, we have a healthy mortgage, college payments and other debt, and no time. So I really can't go back to school for anything, and if I could go back to school, what would I go back for? No school has what I am looking for.
So the feeling I get is that I am trapped. I have worked myself into a situation that I can no longer see a way out of. I think of my dad, who when he was very young (18) started a family and had to get a good job quick, and managed to get into General Motors building cars. It wasn't necessarily a dream job, but it paid the bills. He ended up working there for 32 years or something like that. He didn't enjoy it, but he worked himself into that situation where he had no other options. He had to do it to provide for his family. That is where I am. I have to work to provide for my family.
Then comes this taste of what could possibly be a way out. This minor bit of local celebrity. This fleeting moment of acknowledgment. God how I want that to be my path. God how I want to be out there doing music, talking and interacting with people on an intimate basis. I pray everyday that it is where He is leading me, knowing full well that it may very well never happen, other than the local shows I do (which by the way thanks to everyone who comes to those, they are seriously what keep me going sometimes). He has it all in His hands and I have to wait. My friend Mike wrote a post in his blog recently that relates to this somewhat. His loneliness is to his longing for relationships that are real, as my depression is to my desire for a life that is real. I want a life that matters.
I realize very quickly what you are thinking to yourself... "all lives and occupations matter in the kingdom." I know. I understand that God has me in the position I am in for a reason. He is teaching me something. I am where I am for a reason, and until that reason is accomplished He isn't going to move me. But anyone who has been in my position knows what I am saying. It is hard to see how anything I am doing on a daily basis could possibly matter for the Kingdom of God. But I know it does. Somehow in ways I may never know or understand, what I am doing in my life matters to God, and He is teaching me and molding me through it.
Occasionally I will hear stories from some friends who really have similar stories to what I have just shared. The difference is that they have God in their sights and even when things seem desperate, they don't let it get to them, at least they don't show it. God I want that kind of attitude. Lord help me to see you in all the details and not to struggle anymore with my petty problems. I feel homesick.
Here is a quick quote... again from Oswald Chambers, My Utmost For His Highest, June 10:
"You can never give to another person that which you have found, but you can make him homesick for what you have."
Saturday, June 14, 2008
A Much Needed Break...
It's been a while since I posted anything so I thought I should get on that. Last week the family and I took a much needed vacation. We were offered the use of a cabin on Lake Bellaire which is right next to Torch Lake up towards Traverse City in the northern region of Michigan's lower peninsula. It was a really good time. We hadn't gotten to take a real vacation in the last 5 years since Derek our oldest was born. We purposely didn't plan anything to do up there. Each day consisted of sitting around on the beach, watching the kids play in the water, going out for ice cream, having a nice dinner together, and the best part was naps. It was quiet and uneventful, which is exactly what we have needed. With so much going on lately it seemed like the wife and I were on the brink of losing our minds.
One thing I had planned on doing while on vacation was using some of that extra time I had to get caught up on some devotional stuff, reading more of the Bible, spending lots of time in prayer, working on new songs, and generally just reconnecting with God. That did not happen. I didn't read anything, except for The Chronicles Of Narnia (The Magician's Nephew, my current favorite in the series). I didn't even crack open my Bible, or devotional book, and set large amounts of time aside to pray. I really didn't play my guitar that much or work on any new tunes. In some aspects I was disappointed in myself for allowing that to happen, but in other ways I wasn't so concerned. I don't know that God meant for the vacation to be a time where I completely focused on myself. It was a great time to connect with the wife and kids that I don't get to hang out with nearly as much as I would like to. I got to have fun with the kids building sand castles and watching them play all over. I got to hang out with my wife in an environment that didn't have a schedule, or deadlines, or alarm clocks. It was a much needed vacation from the responsibilities of home and work. All we had to do was make sure the kids were fed and put to bed.
The one thing I did that I regret was that I couldn't resist the temptation to sneak away from the cabin while everyone was sleeping, get to a local coffee house with my laptop, and aimlessly surf around the internet for a while. I have had this addiction to the internet, or my computer I should say, for quite a while. I depend on it a little too much. I have to have it with me at all times. One day later in the week I was suddenly hit with the conviction and realization that I had made special time to spend with myself on the internet, but I hadn't set aside any time I had originally wanted to use to reconnect with God. One of the many weaknesses I have that came out on vacation... selfishness. I want my time for me. I want to do, what I want to do. Not what you want to do.
So even though I decided not to set time aside with God on my vacation, He was with me teaching me something about myself that needs some work. Another area where the Spirit doesn't quite have the free reign He desires to have.
On another note, thanks to everyone who came out to the Baker Book House show. It was a really great time and I appreciate you all being there to support me and listen to what I had to say. The crowd was extremely attentive and responsive which made the show extremely intimate and an amazing personal experience for me. Also thanks to the few of you who got up early last Sunday to come see me at Festival Of The Arts in Grand Rapids. There wasn't a lot of you there, but it was a lot of fun getting to sing for you on that enormous sound system in the middle of downtown with my voice and guitar echoing all over the place.
Another quick note, I am working on a new cd, sort of. When asked about my current cd and why I wrote it, it really came down to just wanting to have something physical that proved I had written songs. I wasn't expecting it to get out there as much as it has. So in response to the fact that people are enjoying the songs, I have gotten a band together, and we are re-recording many of the songs with full band arrangements. We also are adding a few new songs. I am very excited for it because I think its going to turn out very well. We are trying to get it done as quickly as possible and I would anticipate it being done and ready by the end of July, but I can't give an exact date just yet. Keep checking back for updates.
That's it for me now. It's late and I need some sleep.
One thing I had planned on doing while on vacation was using some of that extra time I had to get caught up on some devotional stuff, reading more of the Bible, spending lots of time in prayer, working on new songs, and generally just reconnecting with God. That did not happen. I didn't read anything, except for The Chronicles Of Narnia (The Magician's Nephew, my current favorite in the series). I didn't even crack open my Bible, or devotional book, and set large amounts of time aside to pray. I really didn't play my guitar that much or work on any new tunes. In some aspects I was disappointed in myself for allowing that to happen, but in other ways I wasn't so concerned. I don't know that God meant for the vacation to be a time where I completely focused on myself. It was a great time to connect with the wife and kids that I don't get to hang out with nearly as much as I would like to. I got to have fun with the kids building sand castles and watching them play all over. I got to hang out with my wife in an environment that didn't have a schedule, or deadlines, or alarm clocks. It was a much needed vacation from the responsibilities of home and work. All we had to do was make sure the kids were fed and put to bed.
The one thing I did that I regret was that I couldn't resist the temptation to sneak away from the cabin while everyone was sleeping, get to a local coffee house with my laptop, and aimlessly surf around the internet for a while. I have had this addiction to the internet, or my computer I should say, for quite a while. I depend on it a little too much. I have to have it with me at all times. One day later in the week I was suddenly hit with the conviction and realization that I had made special time to spend with myself on the internet, but I hadn't set aside any time I had originally wanted to use to reconnect with God. One of the many weaknesses I have that came out on vacation... selfishness. I want my time for me. I want to do, what I want to do. Not what you want to do.
So even though I decided not to set time aside with God on my vacation, He was with me teaching me something about myself that needs some work. Another area where the Spirit doesn't quite have the free reign He desires to have.
On another note, thanks to everyone who came out to the Baker Book House show. It was a really great time and I appreciate you all being there to support me and listen to what I had to say. The crowd was extremely attentive and responsive which made the show extremely intimate and an amazing personal experience for me. Also thanks to the few of you who got up early last Sunday to come see me at Festival Of The Arts in Grand Rapids. There wasn't a lot of you there, but it was a lot of fun getting to sing for you on that enormous sound system in the middle of downtown with my voice and guitar echoing all over the place.
Another quick note, I am working on a new cd, sort of. When asked about my current cd and why I wrote it, it really came down to just wanting to have something physical that proved I had written songs. I wasn't expecting it to get out there as much as it has. So in response to the fact that people are enjoying the songs, I have gotten a band together, and we are re-recording many of the songs with full band arrangements. We also are adding a few new songs. I am very excited for it because I think its going to turn out very well. We are trying to get it done as quickly as possible and I would anticipate it being done and ready by the end of July, but I can't give an exact date just yet. Keep checking back for updates.
That's it for me now. It's late and I need some sleep.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Lift Up Your Eyes
Something that has intrigued me for a long time, as far as writing music goes, is the opportunity you have to share a little of yourself with those who will take the time to listen to you. In the past I have blogged about the meaning of some of my songs. I have kind of purposely avoided writing an explanation for the lyrics to Lift Up Your Eyes. I did this mostly because the song seems to take on a different meaning for whoever is listening to it. The history of the song is simple enough...
A couple years ago Andy Ferris, the Ada Bible Church worship director, was putting together a cd of original songs for our children's ministry that would focus on and revolve around the story of the Israelites being raised up out of slavery and delivered by God in the story known as the exodus. He asked me if I would be interested in helping to write some of the music, and being a pretty new song writer and singer at the time I thought this was a good opportunity to get some experience and stretch myself a little. So as he explained the idea to me of what he wanted to do I got very excited and began thinking over song ideas. Now most every song I have ever written has usually taken me a while to put together, I mean like weeks or months, or longer in some cases. This song was for some reason very different. Andy explained his idea to me at church on a Thursday evening at around 9pm, and I literally had the song nearly finished, at least in my head, before I reached my car in the parking lot at 9:30ish. I rushed home to get the idea down on paper and make a really crappy recording on my computer, which I immediately sent to Andy to see what he thought. He responded with a "sounds good" and we rolled with it.
The song to me at that moment was literally about the Israelites being raised out of slavery. No real secondary meanings or symbolic imagery or anything. I just got that hook in my head..."Lift up your eyes, O Israel...", I started reading over the story of the Israelites, and looked up some verses to help me focus on how much it must have sucked to be under the whips of Pharaoh's task masters, and wrapped a song around that hook. To me, when I wrote the song about 2 years ago now, it was really just a cool tune that I had kinda slapped together for a kids album, and now that it was finished I could move back towards the business of writing the really symbolic, personal, poetic stuff I was trying to write.
What happened next was pretty unexpected. I played it for my family first, and after they got past the initial shock that I was smart enough to write a song, they started talking about how good they thought it was. They started playing it for all their friends and co-workers and I was very pleased that my family and a few others thought it was good. I was satisfied. But then things started getting weird. People were asking me to come to their church and sing the song. I was asked if I would play it at a funeral. I was even asked one time by a young woman who ran a children's dance class if I would be willing to play the song while the kids in her class did a routine to it around me. I turned that one down. What I started to notice through all this was that people were seeing the song as more than just a song about the Israelites being brought out of slavery. People were relating the song to the struggles they were currently going through. That was exactly what I had wanted to accomplish with the more "mature, sophisticated" music I was trying to write. The fact that this song, that I spent literally about 5 minutes on, accomplished that floored me.
Now, with the attention the song has gotten on the radio, I have had a whole new group of people come to me with what the song has meant to them. How it helped them with going through a divorce, failing health, losing loved ones, financial problems, and the list goes on. My original idea of what this song was about has been completely shattered, and I am ok with that. I love that God used the one song I didn't think would go anywhere to completely take me wherever He wanted to take me. That I have learned is how He works. I have nothing to do really with where I am. He will take me where He wants, and do with me what He wants to do. He gave me the words and music for that song in the way and time that He did because He had a plan for it and how people could be ministered to through it. If nothing more comes out of the events of this past month or so, I am completely ok with that. The opportunities for ministry and working in other peoples lives, and seeing God work in other peoples lives has been amazing, and its made this last month rather intense in my relationship with God. It has really rejuvenated my spiritual life when I feel like I was at a rather dark spot. Not that the problems I had have gone away, but I was given a much needed affirmation that God is working in my life. And so now there is the meaning of "Lift Up Your Eyes" to me. When the floor seemed to be dropping out from under me spiritually, God broke in and gave me a much needed reminder that in the moments when I feel most alone and abandoned, He is most present with me.
So what does the song mean to you? I would love to hear more stories of how people have been helped by the song, and how God has worked in peoples lives through it. It doesn't even have to include the song, just tell me a little about yourself, give me a prayer request, whatever you want to share. Leave comments or shoot me an email at rick.hopkins@gmail.com.
A couple years ago Andy Ferris, the Ada Bible Church worship director, was putting together a cd of original songs for our children's ministry that would focus on and revolve around the story of the Israelites being raised up out of slavery and delivered by God in the story known as the exodus. He asked me if I would be interested in helping to write some of the music, and being a pretty new song writer and singer at the time I thought this was a good opportunity to get some experience and stretch myself a little. So as he explained the idea to me of what he wanted to do I got very excited and began thinking over song ideas. Now most every song I have ever written has usually taken me a while to put together, I mean like weeks or months, or longer in some cases. This song was for some reason very different. Andy explained his idea to me at church on a Thursday evening at around 9pm, and I literally had the song nearly finished, at least in my head, before I reached my car in the parking lot at 9:30ish. I rushed home to get the idea down on paper and make a really crappy recording on my computer, which I immediately sent to Andy to see what he thought. He responded with a "sounds good" and we rolled with it.
The song to me at that moment was literally about the Israelites being raised out of slavery. No real secondary meanings or symbolic imagery or anything. I just got that hook in my head..."Lift up your eyes, O Israel...", I started reading over the story of the Israelites, and looked up some verses to help me focus on how much it must have sucked to be under the whips of Pharaoh's task masters, and wrapped a song around that hook. To me, when I wrote the song about 2 years ago now, it was really just a cool tune that I had kinda slapped together for a kids album, and now that it was finished I could move back towards the business of writing the really symbolic, personal, poetic stuff I was trying to write.
What happened next was pretty unexpected. I played it for my family first, and after they got past the initial shock that I was smart enough to write a song, they started talking about how good they thought it was. They started playing it for all their friends and co-workers and I was very pleased that my family and a few others thought it was good. I was satisfied. But then things started getting weird. People were asking me to come to their church and sing the song. I was asked if I would play it at a funeral. I was even asked one time by a young woman who ran a children's dance class if I would be willing to play the song while the kids in her class did a routine to it around me. I turned that one down. What I started to notice through all this was that people were seeing the song as more than just a song about the Israelites being brought out of slavery. People were relating the song to the struggles they were currently going through. That was exactly what I had wanted to accomplish with the more "mature, sophisticated" music I was trying to write. The fact that this song, that I spent literally about 5 minutes on, accomplished that floored me.
Now, with the attention the song has gotten on the radio, I have had a whole new group of people come to me with what the song has meant to them. How it helped them with going through a divorce, failing health, losing loved ones, financial problems, and the list goes on. My original idea of what this song was about has been completely shattered, and I am ok with that. I love that God used the one song I didn't think would go anywhere to completely take me wherever He wanted to take me. That I have learned is how He works. I have nothing to do really with where I am. He will take me where He wants, and do with me what He wants to do. He gave me the words and music for that song in the way and time that He did because He had a plan for it and how people could be ministered to through it. If nothing more comes out of the events of this past month or so, I am completely ok with that. The opportunities for ministry and working in other peoples lives, and seeing God work in other peoples lives has been amazing, and its made this last month rather intense in my relationship with God. It has really rejuvenated my spiritual life when I feel like I was at a rather dark spot. Not that the problems I had have gone away, but I was given a much needed affirmation that God is working in my life. And so now there is the meaning of "Lift Up Your Eyes" to me. When the floor seemed to be dropping out from under me spiritually, God broke in and gave me a much needed reminder that in the moments when I feel most alone and abandoned, He is most present with me.
So what does the song mean to you? I would love to hear more stories of how people have been helped by the song, and how God has worked in peoples lives through it. It doesn't even have to include the song, just tell me a little about yourself, give me a prayer request, whatever you want to share. Leave comments or shoot me an email at rick.hopkins@gmail.com.
Friday, April 25, 2008
Where Am I Going Tomorrow?
The question I get from my son Derek nearly every day. "Daddy, where am I going tomorrow?" It's nearly always 1 of three answers. He is either going to school, to daycare, or he is staying home with us. Nearly always. Occasionally there is a day when we decide to surprise him. Sometimes we'll have some grand event planned for the next day that we try to keep secret from him, and we may occasionally drop hints about it. Sometimes though he asks so many questions that we get annoyed by it and it really takes out all the fun for us in trying to surprise him. One time, it got so annoying and persistent that we decided to drop the surprise. All parents I am sure have had an experience like this. You want to do something special for you kids, you make all these plans to really make a special day together with them, and they ruin it by annoying persistence in impatience. That is the nature of parenthood. Trying to be an awesome parent to kids who are not always awesome kids. Kids who can't accept the fact that their parents have something great planned for them. Kids who can't wait patiently for their parents to unveil this amazing surprise. Kids, who sometimes, when they see the surprise finally, are not pleased because it wasn't what they had envisioned and dreamed up in their heads.
I am that kid.
These last few weeks have been awesome. Getting my song on WCSG has been an unbelievable experience for sure. I have gotten lots of emails from friends, family, acquaintances, and some strangers made new friends, all voicing support for me and my music. I've been getting emails and phones calls about possible shows I could perform at. I have gotten really good reviews on my album from people I really respect. I've even sold a few albums, which is a nice bonus considering the ridiculous gas prices and my 40 minute drive to work. My name seems to be getting "out there" a little bit. I realize consciously that this is just one radio station, and that nothing more may come of getting my song on the radio. However I can't help but feel like I am on some trajectory towards something really cool. All the events and path of my life, as I look back on it all, seem to be pointing to this time. I could go into detail, but the story would get too long for a blog post. Long story short, it feels like God has something amazing planned for me. Something I don't deserve because I keep trying to guess it. In fact I would say that I have moved past the impatient guessing, into the annoying, pestering questions, and trying to take this experience into my own hands because obviously I can make this thing happen myself, and on my terms, and in my timing.
What if God does have something amazing planned for me that will come out of this experience, but it is nothing, and I mean nothing, like what I think it is, or am trying to make it into? I want to know where I am going so bad. Am I ruining the surprise? I am that annoying kid that can't help but need to know what his dad has planned for him.
Father, take that desire from me. Give me a peace to know that you have a plan that is for me, and that will glorify you. Not me.
I have tried for a long time to plan my own future. Now I don't mean retirement planning, and planning for vacations, etc. I mean, planning my own service. How I am going to serve God. How I am going to make an impact on this world for Him. I have chosen my path. The path that I think works out best. So again, I go to some words from Oswald...
From April 23rd In My Utmost For His Highest...
"Beware of any work for God which enables you to evade concentration on Him."
"...when once the concentration is on God, all the margins of life are free and under the dominance of God alone."
"There is no responsibility on you for the work; the only responsibility you have is to keep in living constant touch with God, and to see that you allow nothing to hinder your cooperation with Him."
"We have no right to judge where we should be put, or to have preconceived notions as to what God is fitting us for."
"God engineers everything. Wherever He puts us, our one great aim is to pour out a wholehearted devotion to Him in that particular work."
I am that kid.
These last few weeks have been awesome. Getting my song on WCSG has been an unbelievable experience for sure. I have gotten lots of emails from friends, family, acquaintances, and some strangers made new friends, all voicing support for me and my music. I've been getting emails and phones calls about possible shows I could perform at. I have gotten really good reviews on my album from people I really respect. I've even sold a few albums, which is a nice bonus considering the ridiculous gas prices and my 40 minute drive to work. My name seems to be getting "out there" a little bit. I realize consciously that this is just one radio station, and that nothing more may come of getting my song on the radio. However I can't help but feel like I am on some trajectory towards something really cool. All the events and path of my life, as I look back on it all, seem to be pointing to this time. I could go into detail, but the story would get too long for a blog post. Long story short, it feels like God has something amazing planned for me. Something I don't deserve because I keep trying to guess it. In fact I would say that I have moved past the impatient guessing, into the annoying, pestering questions, and trying to take this experience into my own hands because obviously I can make this thing happen myself, and on my terms, and in my timing.
What if God does have something amazing planned for me that will come out of this experience, but it is nothing, and I mean nothing, like what I think it is, or am trying to make it into? I want to know where I am going so bad. Am I ruining the surprise? I am that annoying kid that can't help but need to know what his dad has planned for him.
Father, take that desire from me. Give me a peace to know that you have a plan that is for me, and that will glorify you. Not me.
I have tried for a long time to plan my own future. Now I don't mean retirement planning, and planning for vacations, etc. I mean, planning my own service. How I am going to serve God. How I am going to make an impact on this world for Him. I have chosen my path. The path that I think works out best. So again, I go to some words from Oswald...
From April 23rd In My Utmost For His Highest...
"Beware of any work for God which enables you to evade concentration on Him."
"...when once the concentration is on God, all the margins of life are free and under the dominance of God alone."
"There is no responsibility on you for the work; the only responsibility you have is to keep in living constant touch with God, and to see that you allow nothing to hinder your cooperation with Him."
"We have no right to judge where we should be put, or to have preconceived notions as to what God is fitting us for."
"God engineers everything. Wherever He puts us, our one great aim is to pour out a wholehearted devotion to Him in that particular work."
Friday, April 4, 2008
I'm taking to the airwaves...
That's right folks, you can now hear me on 91.3 WCSG in west Michigan. Yesterday morning at 7am they started playing my song "Lift Up Your Eyes". I immediately started getting calls from co-workers and friends saying, "dude, your song is on the radio!" Needless to say it was a surreal and amazing moment to hear myself over the radio. Then they kept playing the song. They ended up playing it 3 or 4 times. It was an awesome day. I sent out lots of emails to tell people, and I got emails from people telling me they heard it. It was very cool.
The coolest part of my day came in the form of an email from the station manager at WCSG. He basically explained how much he and the staff at the radio station enjoyed the cd and are putting it into their regular rotation for the next 8 - 10 weeks! Crazy! And they want me to come into the studio sometime with my guitar to talk about the cd and to play some of the songs. I don't even know what to think about all this happening so fast other than, praise God, this is amazing! Even if nothing more comes out of this, it's been a great day and I thank God for it. How many people can say a song they wrote is getting airtime on a pretty popular radio station? Not many. I have been feeling for a while now that I really want to move forward with music and get really serious about it. Hopefully this is what gets it rolling. I can't wait to see where God leads me here. I really, really hope that this day gets some wheels under it and things start rolling.
Oh yeah, big thanks to Topher at WCSG for getting my cd in front of the people that mattered their to get it on the air. Thanks to Andy Ferris for recording for me.
So now I need people to call in and request the song. Get me the hook up folks! Start calling and requesting the song "Lift Up Your Eyes". Even if you don't listen the station. Just call and request it or call and tell them how much you liked that song, whatever. Help a brother out.
Our God is an amazing God! I can't thank Him enough for putting me in the position I am in. He has for whatever reason chosen to bless me beyond my worth. I can not thank Him enough.
So what do I do now? I gotta get my act together and get some shows, put a band together, and start getting really serious about this stuff. I am super pumped. Big day!!! ("how about one more exclamation point? no, doesn't need it? ok. " - Flight Of The Conchords reference there for anyone who caught it.)
The coolest part of my day came in the form of an email from the station manager at WCSG. He basically explained how much he and the staff at the radio station enjoyed the cd and are putting it into their regular rotation for the next 8 - 10 weeks! Crazy! And they want me to come into the studio sometime with my guitar to talk about the cd and to play some of the songs. I don't even know what to think about all this happening so fast other than, praise God, this is amazing! Even if nothing more comes out of this, it's been a great day and I thank God for it. How many people can say a song they wrote is getting airtime on a pretty popular radio station? Not many. I have been feeling for a while now that I really want to move forward with music and get really serious about it. Hopefully this is what gets it rolling. I can't wait to see where God leads me here. I really, really hope that this day gets some wheels under it and things start rolling.
Oh yeah, big thanks to Topher at WCSG for getting my cd in front of the people that mattered their to get it on the air. Thanks to Andy Ferris for recording for me.
So now I need people to call in and request the song. Get me the hook up folks! Start calling and requesting the song "Lift Up Your Eyes". Even if you don't listen the station. Just call and request it or call and tell them how much you liked that song, whatever. Help a brother out.
Our God is an amazing God! I can't thank Him enough for putting me in the position I am in. He has for whatever reason chosen to bless me beyond my worth. I can not thank Him enough.
So what do I do now? I gotta get my act together and get some shows, put a band together, and start getting really serious about this stuff. I am super pumped. Big day!!! ("how about one more exclamation point? no, doesn't need it? ok. " - Flight Of The Conchords reference there for anyone who caught it.)
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