Today was Mother's day. I got to spend basically the whole day with my wife and kids doing what the wife wanted to do, which was to have lunch on the lawn outside our church, go to Fredrick Meijer Gardens and out for ice cream. While we were together, other than the moments where I had to get after my kids, I felt an overwhelming sense of fullness. I have a beautiful wife who is a great mother, I have 3 healthy, beautiful and hilarious kids, and I am provided for and blessed beyond my worth by a God who loves me more than I deserve. It kept taking me back to the longing. That sensation of being stabbed repeatedly in the chest because everything is so great, but there's still just not that completeness. Something is missing. I know instantly what it is. It's that this time can't last forever. It's that our time is limited. It's that tomorrow I am going to wake up and go to work, and be back in the routine.
After we came home today I went out to mow the lawn and I was listening to some music. A song came on that I decided to be put on repeat until further notice. I haven't stopped listening to it yet today. It's on repeat right now. The song is "Nearer My God To Thee". Fernando Ortega happens to be the artist on this version, and its only piano. No vocals, no other instruments. Something about the way he plays it captures the ache perfectly for me. The song completely engulfs all that longing and desire I have for things to be made right and complete. I decided to look up the lyrics because I'm not sure I had ever sung the song or heard the lyrics other than when I heard it played on the movie Titanic, which yes I watched in the movie theater on more than one occasion when it came out. I am not going to admit to how many times I saw it at the movie theater, but just know it was more than 2. Anyway, here are a few lyrics...
-----
Nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee!
E'en though it be a cross that raiseth me,
still all my song shall be,
nearer, my God, to thee;
nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee!
Though like the wanderer, the sun gone down,
darkness be over me, my rest a stone;
yet in my dreams I'd be
nearer, my God, to thee;
nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee!
There let the way appear, steps unto heaven;
all that thou sendest me, in mercy given;
angels to beckon me
nearer, my God, to thee;
nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee!
Then, with my waking thoughts bright with thy praise,
out of my stony griefs Bethel I'll raise;
so by my woes to be
nearer, my God, to thee;
nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee!
Or if, on joyful wing cleaving the sky,
sun, moon, and stars forgot, upward I fly,
still all my song shall be,
nearer, my God, to thee;
nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee!
-----
The first verse seems to reference Christ, and the rest seems to reference a story about Jacob from Genesis 28. Not sure of it but that's how it appears when you just read it. However, when I let the lyrics sink into me, they seem to mean much more.
The second verse captures the restlessness for me of life. The feeling of my wandering heart straying away so much from a God who loves me. Yet every once in a while in my dreams or in watching my kids play, or just waking up next to my wife, I feel that nearness. I sense God in that moment. Then the stab of ache when I know the time can't last. But for a second I feel the nearness of God.
The third verse helps me to feel the nearness of God in the blessings I have been given. Again, watching my kids and playing with them, being with my wife on a perfect day, being in front of people to sing and praise the God I love and believe in, or being able to just sing/write/play music and do what I feel God made me to do. He is beckoning and calling to me in all this.
The fourth verse is a killer for me. All these great things that happen and the perfect moments I get with my family, or the highs the come from singing and leading worship or doing a show and being able to share my heart with people, all these mountain top moments will sometimes only seem to show me that they are temporary. Then the ache hits. The depression hits me. I have a choice. I can sit and wallow in the absence of that moment, or I can take that moment and realize that God is in it. That He gave me that moment so I'd know He is there, and want more of Him. "So by my woes to be, nearer my God to thee."
All that is to say, I welcome the ache now. That pain is the welcome sign of the presence of God in my life. I am grateful for that. Happy Mother's day to all the mothers. Especially the mother of my children. I love you.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
New Music Player
Hey guys, one real quick thing for you. I have updated the Listen page. It now opens up a music player that contains all of my own music from both my albums. It also has an album I did with my former rock band RedHandRevolt for those of you looking for something a little heavier and louder. Finally it has an album called Kingdom Coming Down that was put together by the church I attend, Ada Bible Church. I was lucky enough to get to play on a few of the songs, but you'll also get to hear a whole bunch of my friends from church rocking out to some original praise tunes we wrote.
Hope you guys enjoy all the music, and hopefully this player works better than the last one which was pretty buggy. Let me know if you have any problems. Later...
Hope you guys enjoy all the music, and hopefully this player works better than the last one which was pretty buggy. Let me know if you have any problems. Later...
Monday, March 16, 2009
Some Quick Updates
Hey everybody.... remember me? Rick Hopkins... that guy who use to play music and write stuff. No? Don't remember? How about this... "Lift Up Your Eyes O Israel"... remember? No. Got nothing? Ok, well anyway, I have a few quick updates for you.
First off, I played in the Big Ticket Tour battle of the bands in Grand Rapids, MI on Feb 28. The band and I rocked it out and got into the top 3 bands which basically earned us a spot to play at the Big Ticket Festival in Gaylord, MI on June 18, 19, & 20. I am not sure which day we'll play just yet, but I'll keep you posted. If you want to get tickets to the festival check out their website at http://www.bigticketfestival.com/.
Secondly, on May 16, 2009 I am opening for Warren Barfield at Arcadia Creek Festival Place in Kalamazoo. This should be a pretty good show and I am very excited for it. Check out the shows link for more information. If you have never heard of Warren Barfield, he sings the song "Love Is Not A Fight" which was on the soundtrack of the movie "Fireproof" which came out recently.
Thirdly, I am now working with the company Dreamlight Entertainment. Dreamlight was started by George Moss, a WayFM dj and local artist himself. They will be handling booking shows and all sorts of other functions for me, which is awesome because I honestly don't know what I am doing myself. Their help is very welcome. To contact them for booking or whatever else get ahold of Greg Rios at greg@dreamlightent.com .
Finally, I really hope to get to work on writing some new stuff soon, but the inspiration isn't coming as fast as I would like. I have been super busy with family, work, and P90X lately. For questions about what P90X is... just imagine the most intense workout you have ever done, then multiply it by impossibility to the power of infinity. Its that difficult of a workout. I am in the 4th week. Only about 66 more days to go. Ugh. Hopefully it will be worth it when I am done. I'll post the before and after pictures if they are worth looking at, and they don't make you feel weird. Also I hope to get back into blogging some real soon. It's been a long time and I need the therapy of getting some stuff off my chest. Look for that soon.
Ok, talk to you all later. Contact me with anything you have for me. Later.
First off, I played in the Big Ticket Tour battle of the bands in Grand Rapids, MI on Feb 28. The band and I rocked it out and got into the top 3 bands which basically earned us a spot to play at the Big Ticket Festival in Gaylord, MI on June 18, 19, & 20. I am not sure which day we'll play just yet, but I'll keep you posted. If you want to get tickets to the festival check out their website at http://www.bigticketfestival.com/.
Secondly, on May 16, 2009 I am opening for Warren Barfield at Arcadia Creek Festival Place in Kalamazoo. This should be a pretty good show and I am very excited for it. Check out the shows link for more information. If you have never heard of Warren Barfield, he sings the song "Love Is Not A Fight" which was on the soundtrack of the movie "Fireproof" which came out recently.
Thirdly, I am now working with the company Dreamlight Entertainment. Dreamlight was started by George Moss, a WayFM dj and local artist himself. They will be handling booking shows and all sorts of other functions for me, which is awesome because I honestly don't know what I am doing myself. Their help is very welcome. To contact them for booking or whatever else get ahold of Greg Rios at greg@dreamlightent.com .
Finally, I really hope to get to work on writing some new stuff soon, but the inspiration isn't coming as fast as I would like. I have been super busy with family, work, and P90X lately. For questions about what P90X is... just imagine the most intense workout you have ever done, then multiply it by impossibility to the power of infinity. Its that difficult of a workout. I am in the 4th week. Only about 66 more days to go. Ugh. Hopefully it will be worth it when I am done. I'll post the before and after pictures if they are worth looking at, and they don't make you feel weird. Also I hope to get back into blogging some real soon. It's been a long time and I need the therapy of getting some stuff off my chest. Look for that soon.
Ok, talk to you all later. Contact me with anything you have for me. Later.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Sleeper
When I was thinking of an album title for my latest album I came up with this phrase that everyone seemed to think was too long, but I felt captured the theme behind all the songs perfectly. The theme that came into my head was "Where We Are And Where We Long To Be". This phrase swirled around in my head for a little while and later became the opening line of the song "Sleeper" which is the first full song on the album. Here are the lyrics to that whole song...
-----
Where we are and where we long to be
has me dying for all to be complete
setting my hopes high
i find i can breathe
look to the east
the rising begins in me
so wait, the dawns approaching the day
and the One who sleeps will come awake
at long last, never less than near
Where we are is all my eyes can see
but my heart knows where I long to be
setting my hopes high
i find i can breathe
with eyes to the east
i feel the rising
come awake Great Sleeper
come awake all sleepers
-----
This song has been interpreted a few ways and a couple of them I almost like better than what I originally intended. Just one of the beauties of music is that many people can listen to the same song and take different things from it.
When I wrote this song, that theme was running thick in my mind. I can easily look around this world and see a whole load of brokenness and think "where is God?" It can sometimes feel like He is sleeping. This song to me became a symbolic begging of the "Great Sleeper" to come awake and make things right.
This song also references myself and many others as the "sleepers". Quite often in my relationship with God, I feel like I am sleeping, or like I am a member of that lukewarm church mentioned in Revelation that God is about to spit out because they are neither hot nor cold. Just kind of going through the motions, but all the while I might as well be asleep. So its a call to myself and all those like me to wake up.
There's all sorts of other ideas and influences running through the lyrics, but thats really the basis of the song. Like I said earlier other people have interpreted it in different ways which is awesome. One in particular is found here... http://sola5guy.blogspot.com/2009/01/go-get-this-cd-now.html.
So what do you think? What does the song say to you? I'd be interested to hear what you think.
-----
Where we are and where we long to be
has me dying for all to be complete
setting my hopes high
i find i can breathe
look to the east
the rising begins in me
so wait, the dawns approaching the day
and the One who sleeps will come awake
at long last, never less than near
Where we are is all my eyes can see
but my heart knows where I long to be
setting my hopes high
i find i can breathe
with eyes to the east
i feel the rising
come awake Great Sleeper
come awake all sleepers
-----
This song has been interpreted a few ways and a couple of them I almost like better than what I originally intended. Just one of the beauties of music is that many people can listen to the same song and take different things from it.
When I wrote this song, that theme was running thick in my mind. I can easily look around this world and see a whole load of brokenness and think "where is God?" It can sometimes feel like He is sleeping. This song to me became a symbolic begging of the "Great Sleeper" to come awake and make things right.
This song also references myself and many others as the "sleepers". Quite often in my relationship with God, I feel like I am sleeping, or like I am a member of that lukewarm church mentioned in Revelation that God is about to spit out because they are neither hot nor cold. Just kind of going through the motions, but all the while I might as well be asleep. So its a call to myself and all those like me to wake up.
There's all sorts of other ideas and influences running through the lyrics, but thats really the basis of the song. Like I said earlier other people have interpreted it in different ways which is awesome. One in particular is found here... http://sola5guy.blogspot.com/2009/01/go-get-this-cd-now.html.
So what do you think? What does the song say to you? I'd be interested to hear what you think.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Lyrics To Where We Are And Where We Long To Be
I have finally pieced together all the lyrics to the new album in one pdf. You can get them by clicking here. I've had quite a few requests for the lyrics so I hope you guys enjoy. It doesn't involve guitar chords or song explanations or anything like that. I am hoping to at some point find an artist who feels like doing a project, give them the lyrics and some imagery ideas, and let them piece together a graphic novel. That would be sweet so if you are that person please contact me :) In the meantime here are the lyrics. Hope you enjoy!
Monday, January 19, 2009
WWAAWWLTB On iTunes!
Just a quick one here... Where We Are And Where We Long To Be is now available through everyone's favorite music store, iTunes. Just do a search for "Rick Hopkins" in the iTunes store, or click this link here... http://www.itunes.com/rickhopkins. Keep in mind you can also get it for free from NoiseTrade at http://www.noisetrade.com/rickhopkins. Hope you're all enjoying it.
I am hoping to start lining up some shows again so if you want me to come play where you are contact me through my contact page... http://rickhopkins.com/contact/. Alright. Later.
I am hoping to start lining up some shows again so if you want me to come play where you are contact me through my contact page... http://rickhopkins.com/contact/. Alright. Later.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Joy
I read a lot of CS Lewis books. Most of the time I will read them a couple times just because they are thick and I struggle to wrap my stupid head around what he is trying to say. Lately I have been reading the book "Surprised By Joy" which is basically a kind of auto biography. In it he gives his own definition of the word "joy"... and I think its awesome. Here is what he says...
"... it is that of an unsatisfied desire which is itself more desirable than any other satisfaction. I call it Joy, which is here a technical term and must be distinguished both from Happiness and from Pleasure. Joy (in my sense) has indeed one characteristic, and one only, in common with them; the fact that anyone who has experienced it will want it again. Apart from that, and considered only in its quality, it might almost equally well be called a particular kind of unhappiness or grief. But then it is a kind we want. I doubt whether anyone who has tasted it would ever, if both were in his power, exchange it for all the pleasures in the world. But then Joy is never in our power and pleasure often is."
He goes on to describe experiences where he experienced real Joy and it was taken from him very quickly leaving him wanting it more than anything. These experiences would in some way give him a glimpse at the eternal and he wanted it. He saw for an instant that there was more out there, that there was something calling out to him that made him feel complete.
If I apply that definition of Joy to my life, then by golly, I am the most joyous person in the world. It seems that lately I have had an all encompassing desire for that fulfillment, that completion. I feel like my name is being screamed out, and I am unable to see who is doing the screaming. I know who it is, but I can't see Him and its killing me. Those moments of Joy come to me like someone with a knife stabbing me over and over.
When I play with my kids and witness their complete innocence and the joy they have at just spending time with their father. Stab...
When my wife, my bride, reminds me of why I love her with her gentle spirit calming me after a day of stress, tension, and depression. Stab...
When I am able to get up in front of people to sing and play the songs I was given to sing, and do what I feel made to do. Stab...
When I am able to get together with my parents and sisters and all their husbands and kids, my cousins, grandparents, aunts and uncles and whoever else, and just spend time laughing and enjoying each others company. Stab...
When I am hanging out with friends drinking beer and eating way too much food and just enjoying the conversation, cracking jokes, and feeling absolutely no stress. Stab...
When I step outside at night and just look up to star gaze and watch the night sky slowly rotate around us here on this tiny planet. The immensity of it all. Stab...
I think the one that hurts the most is when I come home from work and inevitably my little girl Grace, and sometimes my boys as well, will greet me at the door and scream "DADDY!!!" then give me a great big hug. It just makes me ache all over. I wish all the time we had together could be as happy as that moment. It only lasts a second, but it reflects eternity.
I guess I say all this because lately I just feel defeated. I have absolutely no self control. I am the most out of shape I have ever been, I am just as angry as ever, still struggle with depression, still just feel like a complete loser of a dad and husband in general. Joy is killing me. Those few moments I get that bring that Joy, that ache, are severe and they seem to accentuate my brokenness and need. But God please don't let the moments of Joy stop. What would I do without those to remind me that there is Someone there calling my name? Those moments make me want to be a better person. They make me want to be the person that God designed me to be. To live the life that Jesus came and lived and prescribed for me to live.
Joy, in this sense, leads to my hope. Hope leads me to faith. Faith leads me to God. God leads me home to where all Joy is made complete.
"... it is that of an unsatisfied desire which is itself more desirable than any other satisfaction. I call it Joy, which is here a technical term and must be distinguished both from Happiness and from Pleasure. Joy (in my sense) has indeed one characteristic, and one only, in common with them; the fact that anyone who has experienced it will want it again. Apart from that, and considered only in its quality, it might almost equally well be called a particular kind of unhappiness or grief. But then it is a kind we want. I doubt whether anyone who has tasted it would ever, if both were in his power, exchange it for all the pleasures in the world. But then Joy is never in our power and pleasure often is."
He goes on to describe experiences where he experienced real Joy and it was taken from him very quickly leaving him wanting it more than anything. These experiences would in some way give him a glimpse at the eternal and he wanted it. He saw for an instant that there was more out there, that there was something calling out to him that made him feel complete.
If I apply that definition of Joy to my life, then by golly, I am the most joyous person in the world. It seems that lately I have had an all encompassing desire for that fulfillment, that completion. I feel like my name is being screamed out, and I am unable to see who is doing the screaming. I know who it is, but I can't see Him and its killing me. Those moments of Joy come to me like someone with a knife stabbing me over and over.
When I play with my kids and witness their complete innocence and the joy they have at just spending time with their father. Stab...
When my wife, my bride, reminds me of why I love her with her gentle spirit calming me after a day of stress, tension, and depression. Stab...
When I am able to get up in front of people to sing and play the songs I was given to sing, and do what I feel made to do. Stab...
When I am able to get together with my parents and sisters and all their husbands and kids, my cousins, grandparents, aunts and uncles and whoever else, and just spend time laughing and enjoying each others company. Stab...
When I am hanging out with friends drinking beer and eating way too much food and just enjoying the conversation, cracking jokes, and feeling absolutely no stress. Stab...
When I step outside at night and just look up to star gaze and watch the night sky slowly rotate around us here on this tiny planet. The immensity of it all. Stab...
I think the one that hurts the most is when I come home from work and inevitably my little girl Grace, and sometimes my boys as well, will greet me at the door and scream "DADDY!!!" then give me a great big hug. It just makes me ache all over. I wish all the time we had together could be as happy as that moment. It only lasts a second, but it reflects eternity.
I guess I say all this because lately I just feel defeated. I have absolutely no self control. I am the most out of shape I have ever been, I am just as angry as ever, still struggle with depression, still just feel like a complete loser of a dad and husband in general. Joy is killing me. Those few moments I get that bring that Joy, that ache, are severe and they seem to accentuate my brokenness and need. But God please don't let the moments of Joy stop. What would I do without those to remind me that there is Someone there calling my name? Those moments make me want to be a better person. They make me want to be the person that God designed me to be. To live the life that Jesus came and lived and prescribed for me to live.
Joy, in this sense, leads to my hope. Hope leads me to faith. Faith leads me to God. God leads me home to where all Joy is made complete.
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